I AM A CELL PHONE.

Posted: April 4, 2014 in Uncategorized

Proof that I’m a Cellphone.

At the end of every work day I make my way home from the office after picking up my two girls from day care.  We walk in the door and the barrage of childish requests (complete with whining and frantic sobbing if not met immediately) instantly begin.  Before I can sit on the couch for even a moment’s breath – Zoey, my two year old needs a snack,a sippy cup, a toy, her bum changed – nose wiped – and hands washed, her toonies (cartoons) a blanket, her stuffy and an ipad.  Kezzy, my 4 year old, needs her snack too (and heaven knows she will not come in second to Zoey, so her whining has to be louder and stronger), then she needs access to her play-dough, toy bin, crayons, markers, paper, drink box, and her cartoons (not Zoeys) and of course, the other ipad. 

I’m a cell phone! (hang in there, it’s coming)

Once all that is done and I’m ready to sit on the couch I realize it’s 5:00 pm and Megan (my wife) will be home from the clinic soon.  I haven’t even started dinner yet, the house is a disaster, dishes are mounting, Zoey is pouring her grape juice on the cat, Kezzy has gotten on a chair, is standing on the counter and has gotten into the bin full of permanent markers…and I have yet to go to the bathroom.

I’m a cell phone (wait for it)

I finally sit for a moment (in-between dinner prep, poops, diapers and snacks) to check my phone and I realize that it’s blinking recharge.  last night when I went to bed, I went to bed to late and didn’t plug it in for long enough, I woke up too early and it didn’t get a full charge.  I took it to work, but  I used up what I had in energy all day at the office and when I got home it was almost dead.

I am my cellphone.  I try to stay up a bit late so I can have some quiet moments to myself, but end up plugging into the sheets to late.  The alarm screams at me just before I’m fully recharged, so I’m forced to unplug myself too soon.  I expel my almost all my battery life at work (working for the man – or persons to be politically correct) and by the time I get home I have one little tiny battery cell left.  My kids quickly and wonderfully drain that, and I’m left basically unusable by the time dinner is done and cleaned up, kids are bathed and put to bed.  I sit beeping on the couch with Megan. both of us forcing one eye open to catch our 30 minute sitcom… then off to the charger.

I’m a cell phone, see?

Marshal Burnham

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Comments
  1. Julie stanner says:

    Haha. Amazing. This is exactly me.

  2. Jarrod Cornish says:

    thats a story every parent can relate to. Funny. Wish we could just have a stand by battery!

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